Dances With Opportunity is proud to announce our dynamic new keynote or conference presentation, The Nature of Conflict ^©.

This entertaining 30 to 60-minute digital show and talk explores important human conflict issues using Don Boyd's beautiful photographic images as metaphors for the insights discussed in the presentation.

Here is just a taste of the show.

The Nature of Conflict ^©

Conflict and Avoidance

Conflict can be scary; that's why we try so hard to avoid it.

Avoidance works much of the time so that behavior gets reinforced. But the problem is that when avoiding conflict doesn't work, the neglected situation gets even worse.

Conflict avoidance is reflected in the parable of the man looking for a lost key in the dark.

An acquaintance sees a man down on all fours searching the ground beneath a lamppost. When asked what he is looking for the man says, "I dropped a key."

The acquaintance gets down to help with the search. After a long time of looking without success, the frustrated acquaintance asks, "Where did you drop it?" The man replies, "Over there", pointing to an unlit field.

Perplexed, the acquaintance asks, "Then why are we looking here?" To which the man responds, "Because there is no light over there."

Conflict often asks us to go into the dark places where we don't have much awareness, because that is where the answer to our problem lies.

This Anasazi Kiva, occupied until about 1275 AD, was the ritualized place of going into the darkness -- a place for embracing their fear of the unknown.

Fear can be healthy, but not dealing with a problem solely because we are afraid of the unknown is a sure way to ensure that things will get worse.

One of the most profound (and sometimes difficult to appreciate) principles of interpersonal disputes is that they often reflect back to us a part of our own nature that would otherwise be hidden. The psychologist, Carl Jung referred to this projected, hidden self as our shadow side.

Mohandas Ghandi said that he learned non-violence in his marriage, because that was the place where he was most likely to see the parts of himself that he did not like.

In our culture, because we tend to treat conflicts as mistakes that can be rectified by figuring out who is to blame, we sometimes miss opportunities for positive growth and change.

What is it that moves us emotionally when we see images like Peek-a-Boo slot canyon? The interaction of water, sun and wind here has created or revealed something essential about the character of the Navajo sandstone.

These hidden secrets would have remained unknown if not revealed by the conflict of the elements. Likewise, interpersonal conflicts often reveal our deeper character.

Myopia in Conflict

We often have autonomic reactions to conflict, even when the level of conflict would not seem to call for it.

And, in preparation to defend ourselves, our vision becomes tunnel-like, focused only on where we perceive the threat to be coming from.

These physiological reactions have helped us survive as a species for millennia. However, they can also interfere with our seeing the larger picture, of which the perceived conflict is only a part.

What do you see in this image?  Without an environmental context, it is difficult to know that a single stalk of grain, moving in the late afternoon wind, left its mark in this ever shifting sand.

There is a context for all disputes. Understanding that context can be critical to a successful resolution.